Recently, my husband and I traveled down to my in-laws to house sit for them while they're away in Mexico. They live about an hour away from our home, and it took some time to pack everything I would need while away--Walking in this World by Julia Cameron, my folder containing many helpful blog entries from Mari's blog (both guest posts and Mari's posts) as well as We Are All Writers, my journal, my computer, etc.--and during this process, it appears that my copy of Mari's Most Musefull Journaling Tips did not end up making the journey. Because of school, I will be returning home on Sunday and so can easily update this blog then instead of today. However, I didn't want to simply leave my readers dangling and wondering why I hadn't updated. So, here's an update!
Yes, I wrote in my journal daily every single day this week. Was it hard to find time? To think of something to write? To just get up and do it before my daughter woke up? Yes, yes, yes.
Time is a precious commodity that I often enjoy wasting on trivial things (like The Sims 3), but I have set out a specific schedule of writing my journal, reading Walking in this World, and working on my novel (as well as my blogs). I have been following this schedule as much as I possibly can, and it's quite a joy to wake up and know that some parts of my life are scheduled, that I can control some of what I do.
Thinking of something to write is a problem I face often enough to be considered an annoying problem but still not quite frequently enough to which I can't ever find something to write. Lately, We Are All Writers and Walking in this World by Julia Cameron has been giving me more than enough to write. My new average for journaling is about 3-4 pages. It used to be a paragraph. So, there are ways to get around this idea that we have nothing to write. Hell, Google "fun quotes" and just pick one that tickles your fantasy.
My daughter enjoys a sporadic wake and sleep schedule. Usually, she sleeps at 10 and can wake anywhere from 6 to 10 (whenever the fancy might strike her). It has become evident to me that my daughter has been leaning more toward an 8am wake-up call, sometimes 9 at the latest. Most days, I get up at 8:30 to journal. This will obviously have to change as her schedule changes too, but she's still asleep at the moment and it's 9:43 as I write this. Granted, she went to bed closer to midnight last night because everyone was hyped up about leaving for Mexico (except, of course, my husband and I who aren't going, and my father-in-law who was sleeping since he was going to have to drive).
Anyway, so that's my update so you all know why there's no journaling tip post. When I get home on Sunday, it will be the first thing I do.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Journal Tip #13: Body and Soul
Because of copyright laws, etc., I don't want to post the quotes and actual journal tips in my blog. Instead, you can find 100+ free journaling tips from Mari here, and you can buy the same journal I am using here.
"The soul lies buried in the ink that writes."
-John Clare
The definition of "soul" is different to everyone. For me, the soul is the part of the body that lives on forever. Because I am a Christian, that part of the body will go up to heaven to be with God for eternity. However, I don't think that's the kind of soul this quote is talking about. I think the type of soul in this quote is that essence of "us." The thing that makes us who we are, the thing that we usually hide around everyone else. The soul in this quote is the part of us that we usually hide because "no one will accept me." So, then we just reinvent ourselves over and over.
Before too long, we have buried our soul in all the masks we wear--the school mask, the going to the store mask, the wife mask, the daughter mask, the mother mask. And before too long, that "soul" of ours begins to wonder "Just who exactly am I? Do I enjoy the things my parents have always believed I would enjoy, or do I enjoy the new things that my husband is showing to me?" (That is an exact quote from my own "soul".) This is a problem that I am currently running into. I know part of who I am but not the whole.
I know that I love my daughter and that I want to do better by her. I want to spend more time with her and be there for her. That is a part of my "mother mask" that is also a part of my true "soul." I know that I love my husband and that I want my husband to be more of a husband to me. Currently, he is still sleeping behind me (yes, even at this late hour), and I wish he would wake up earlier with me so we could spend time together. That is a part of my true "soul" that is part of my "wife mask." But there are parts of the mask that aren't really me.
My mother nags me a lot about how to raise my daughter. She insists that letting her sit around in her pjs all day is some form of neglect. Maybe she's right, and maybe she's not. Only CPS can tell me for sure, I suppose. Personally, if my daughter's not sitting in a stinky diaper or dirty clothes, but she's happy and warm and playing, sitting around in pjs is just fine. But part of my mask right now is to do as she says and dress my daughter every morning because I live in her home, and I cannot be my own person in her home. Why? I have no idea.
Another part of the masks that isn't part of my "soul" is my ability to let my husband do whatever he wants. He rarely helps around the house, barely plays with his daughter, spends little time with me, goes to work, comes home, and plays games the rest of the time. This makes my "soul" sad, but my "wife mask" will go on contentedly in life.
Lately, my masks have been cracking. I've been expanding my taste in music to things my mother doesn't recognize. The "daughter mask" is one of my oldest, thickest masks. I can't even imagine what she will think when I do move out and start doing things my own way. Perhaps she will be glad to see that I'm starting to develop a self. Or perhaps she'll think she knows me better still and complain that I'm not being me. At one point, she even stated that my possibility of having Asperger syndrome was simply something that came up because of my pregnancy. Yes, I'm still trying to work that one out myself.
But back to the quote--"buried in the ink that writes." I journal. A lot. Obviously, because that's what this blog is all about. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do when my 85 journal tips run out, but again, I'm side-tracking myself. Because I spend so much time hidden behind my masks, I journal to free my true "soul." I think if my mother ever read any of my journals, she might feel as if the daughter she's reading about is a completely different person. Well, that's because the outside shell is a different person.
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| Image borrowed from Dissertation Writing Guru |
Journaling allows us to be free. It lets us take off the masks and be who we want to be. My "soul" is buried deep within pens (at this moment, pens of every color--specifically Paper Mate InkJoy 100 pens), and when I write, I free that ink which carries my soul. Now, I wouldn't say that my soul is literally in the pen. I would simply say that the ink holds the ability to let me free my soul, to write whatever comes to my mind, to give me the strength and the power to rip off each and every one of my masks so that I can be exactly who I want to be.
Photos on the internet aren't free just because you Google them. Maybe you don't know who exactly the image is copyrighted by because you took it from a site, but not citing is stealing. So, if you don't know the original copyright, state where you found the image like I did with my little image in this entry. If you use your own images, claim the copyrights so people can know where the pictures came from.
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